How do we do it? It is 2019 and there’s still not an easy way to teach someone how to date. We look in the bible and it talks on marriage,but not dating. Dating came about in the 20th century, what does that even mean? That means dating is something new, something that we have just tested and tested over and over again. The reason the bible does not talk much on dating it because the Lord has called us to marriage. The Lord shows us how to love our spouse and what it should look like.
1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wive, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Ephesians 5:22-33 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
So you're probably wondering, if he doesn't talk about dating than how am I to date? I wish I had the answer to that as well. I am 24years old and have been in 3 long term relationships that I thought would end in marriage, but here I am single and trying to wrap my head around how will my husband find me if I am not in school, or I go to a church where everyone is engaged or married. It gets scary. But then you also think of the scripture “May he give you the desire of your heart” Psalm 20:4, and you find a slight peace in your heart knowing that if you want marriage that the Lord will give it to you. So here are some lessons I have learned through “dating”: for one its hard, it requires time effort and communication, costly, and if your family does not like the person your dating it can get awkward. You probably know this because you have probably been dating around as well.
You may also be like me and try to listen to every dating sermon out there to see if your the problem, if you're broken, or maybe just flat out ugly(not nice, you're beautiful and never see yourself as anything else). But you want answers. You want to know why the divorce rate is so high and in the church. You want to know why people are spending more time dating and breaking up than they are getting married. What if I let you in on a secret? The secret is, we do not know what we are looking for. We base our #relationshipgoals on people on Instagram and think that is the face of a relationship. We believe that its not hard that it should always look beautiful and easy. So instead of looking there open your bible again girl, and or boy.
I was listening to a sermon one day not sure who was speaking but he spoke on being loved by the person you're dating. He spoke on what you're looking for: cherishing(where are you getting your worth), confident not conceited (selfless or selfish), controlled (by God or by man), clear conscience (what is controlling their minds), committed (to what, who), communication (leaders remove confusion). Hearing these words and looking back on the relationships that I invested time in I found that each person was lacking at lease two of these C’s. I found that these C’s are what really can shape a great relationship.
How do you make sure you live out these C’s though if you're not already doing so. Prayer, devotion, putting all your focus on the Lord. When you focus our herts and our minds on the Lord things, places, and people just begin to fall into our lives in all the right ways. Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” These simple words tell us believe that he is real, and to believe that he rewards those who seek him. Such an easy way to live life and get answers to who you should be in relationships with, not just in dating but with jobs, friends, and even churches. Your time on earth is numbered use it to seek the Lord and live as though your body is not yours and you will see the reward at the end.
I hope you see that you are the MVP in the eyes of the Lord and he is rooting for you to have that marriage. He’s in heaven now looking down on you with a smile knowing that you have plans but He also has plans and His are higher than ours. Put your trust in him and pray with me through the good and bad times of heartbreak, and heart rebuilding.
Your a daughter of a king. Wear your crown!
