The pain you're feeling? The constant searching? The over editing?
You're okay. I know that you don’t feel okay right now, but you will be okay.
This pain that you feel from others, not feeling accepted and not feeling wanted its mostly caused by you. You go into situations wondering what someone is thinking about you. As soon as a head turns and looks your way, your first thought is “what are they thinking?” The thoughts in your mind consume who you will become. You can have the best support system around but you are the one who is looking in the mirror. You are the one who sees the scars of the past. You're the one who tells yourself “I sucked today; I am ugly; I am not good enough.” The pain you're feeling let it go you're okay.
The constant searching, you're looking everywhere. What are you looking for? Are you looking for love, approval, or just a simple wow from someone around you? You are hurting yourself child. Lay your head down, rest. You are searching for things in a human and causing more pain than joy. Know that your joy comes from the Lord, that the searching you're doing you don’t have to look much further. The search is over, the Lord is calling you to freedom, to love, to acceptance.
Why are you over editing yourself? You're already an edit. You're a complete edit from the Lord. You have been made in his image. Your hips that you hate, the nose, the feet, every part of your body you want to change the Lord has made. You are telling the creator of the universe that he did a bad job, that his work was incomplete when it came to you.
Can we talk about how you are loved. Can we talk about the fact that ever situation in your life that was hard you made it through. Can we talk about the pain that you feel from the past, because it is taken account for. The Lord has taken your past and has labeled it your past so that you can look past it. You are brave.
Today look in the mirror. While you are looking in the mirror find everything you don’t like about yourself. After you do that write it down. Take all those things to the Lord, then to your closest person and begin to pray that you fall in love with each of those parts. Pray for healing over the past that caused you to hate it. Begin to transform your mind to love all of you.
Can we talk about it:
I have spent so much time worried that I will never be where I want to be in life. I worried that because I didn't finish school I was not good enough, but I am a manager. I was worried that I will not be able to live for the Lord because I am not doing all that I dream of, but to be honest guys we may not ever make it to where we want to be. But ask yourself ‘what am I passionate about?’ Most of us are doing what we are passionate about and some of us well we are in the messy middle trying to figure it out or just go with the flow. Know that you can still have your passions and work at a job that you do not love. It is hard for me to wrap my head around that sometimes because I am not in a place where I think I am thriving (that is because I do not feel challenged enough) but I am passionate about writing, children, making the Lord known. With those passions I can still manage, or work at a coffee shop, or even work picking up trash. It does not matter what your job title says, its what you do with the title you have. So I say all of that to say, I am in the messy middle where I put my passions on hold because I didn't feel like I could use them because I am a manager, because I believed the pain of the past, and because I put an edit on what God created and told myself I will only manage because thats all that I can do with my life. As the days on management continue I now work with children, blog when I make time, and talk about the Lord just as much as I manage. So what are you waiting for, a new editor of your story.